Christmas List
July 30th, 2008Christmas List
Dear Santa…
I’ve finally reached the point in my life where I’m going to just come right out and ask for things I want.
In the past, there have been things I wanted that just weren’t in the budget, or might cause embarrassment for my friends and loved ones, or trigger some alert at the FBI that would have my house surrounded by snipers in a matter of minutes.
In fact, there’s a few things that fit into all of those categories at the same time.
I’ll start slow though, and keep it only within legal and community accepted standards.
I want a Goth Girl.
I want a tub full of Cheetos.
Better yet, I want them combined… And delivered.
Sometimes you’ve just got to ask…
Cure For Cancer?
July 29th, 2008Cure For Cancer?
Maybe…
Is Reservatrol the cure for cancer?
Possibly.
While the effectiveness of Reservatrol on cancer is not yet conclusive, the is much speculation that it very well could be.
As is currently being documented within the resveratrol forum at imminst.org, one of their own is receiving mega-doses of Reservatrol. With only 4 months to live, this will really put it to the test.
Do Something Illegal
July 29th, 2008Do Something Illegal
People Will Remember You
So, I was looking for a very important document last night…
Wait, let me preface this by sharing my “very important document” filing method…
1). Important document comes into my possession.
2). If document is semi-important, it stays on the kitchen table until someone moves it, or throws it away. If the document is deemed “really important”, then if gets placed on the computer desk, somewhere between the “bills that are late” pile, the “bills that are really late and probably should be paid” pile, and the “bills that I haven’t yet opened because if I don’t open them, they don’t really exist” pile.
3). Once this pile of “really important documents to be filed” grows to a size that prevents me from moving the mouse around on the desk, the pile is sorted into “stuff that was really important before, but doesn’t seem so important now, and is to be shredded” and “stuff that still needs to be filed”.
4). Then, the “shred” pile gets shredded – this is always done without procrastination because, well, let’s face it, shredders are fun.
The “stuff that still needs to be filed” pile is then moved upstairs, into the room containing the file cabinet. But, the documents aren’t actually filed at this point. Instead, they are placed into a pile on a desk in that room.
5). Over a period of months, items in this pile will be read, removed, copied, faxed, scanned, and misplaced, until the pile becomes too large and unmanageable. When that happens, the pile is moved to the top of the file cabinet. No, I don’t mean the top drawer. I mean the top of the cabinet.
6). You know, to be filed when I have time.
Nothing ever really gets into the file cabinet from this pile. Some things end up behind the cabinet. Some items are used to kill spiders with. Some remain there. Others get moved and never returned.
The reason the items don’t get filed into the cabinet is that 98% of the documents currently in the file cabinet are obsolete and no longer relevant. I don’t want to put these “new and important” documents in with receipts for lawnmowers that I no longer own or medical records for pets that died two years ago.
So, anyway… I was looking for a really important document last night… Which means I was searching the entire house.
Along the way, I ran across and big envelope containing my family tree – my ancestry from the maternal side, in detail, dating back to the mid 1500s.
This sidetracked me for a good couple of hours, but I learned some very important things while reviewing this data…
First, no matter what you do in your life, you’re going to die. In fact, that is exactly what happened to every one of my ancestors.
Second, in most cases, your life will be summarized to future generations as one or two sentences. That’s it.
Those two sentences will be the mark you’ve left upon the world during your entire existence here.
Each summary of my ancestors was summed up with:
Old Person 1: Born somewhere in some year, married someone, died somewhere else in this other year.
Old Person 2: Born somewhere in some year, married someone, died somewhere else in this other year.
Old Person 3: Born somewhere in some year, married someone, died somewhere else in this other year.
Old Person 4: Born somewhere in some year, married someone, died somewhere else in this other year.
Old Person 5: Born somewhere in some year, married someone, died somewhere else in this other year.
Blah…
Blah…
Blah…
Until… Until we get to my Great Grandfather.
Old Person 15: Born somewhere in some year, married someone, died in state prison while serving a seven year sentence for shooting a police officer.
Oh, yeah, Great Grandpa was a badass. To make a long story short, he shot an officer who was trying to serve an arrest warrant on him (for “disturbing the peace” – aka, “beating his wife”).
Now, I never knew Great Grandpa because he died about 30 years before I was born. And, it should be noted that the police officer lived.
But, at least Great Grandpa stands out from the crowd in my 500+ year ancestry.
If you want to be remembered centuries from now, I strongly encourage you to go out and break some laws.
Under no circumstances should you shoot a police officer - and, if you do, I hope you get taken out in return - but maybe running nude through the middle of the Super Bowl or being the world’s most celebrated prostitute would work. Use your imagination, and just don’t hurt anyone.
Actually, if you decide upon that prostitute thing, send me an email…
The Office
July 27th, 2008The Office
You Mean A Beer Box Isn’t A Printer Stand?
It’s definitely time for some new office furniture in my home office.
For some reason, every piece of furniture always seems to get replaced in my home before my office receives any attention. Which is ironic, because that’s where I spend the largest amount of time when I’m in the house.
Time for some shopping.
Upgrade
July 27th, 2008Upgrade
Or Die Trying
Looks like WordPress version 2.6 has been released. As always, I’ll feel obligated to upgrade now.
Usually this isn’t a big deal. I’ve got many blogs based on WordPress software, and over the years have become somewhat of an expert with it.
But, that doesn’t mean that bad things never happen.
In fact, that doesn’t even mean that bad things haven’t happened to me.
The problem is, usually, lack of planning for the backout if things go wrong. After all, what would be the fun in that? I much prefer to just go aheard, fire up the upgrade script, and hope for the best.
In other words, if this blog happens to disapper sometime in the next week or so, don’t be alarmed. I’ll fix it…
Financially Fit
July 27th, 2008Financially Fit
Check Your Financial Health
Are you financially fit?
Are you sure? Do you need Debt help?
You might not be quite as secure financially as you think, and without a proper evaluation of your current situation you won’t know for sure.
Debt consolidation might be a good idea for you. Or, there might be a better solution. Possibly you don’t need to take any action at all.
To obtain an assessment of your current financial health, visit the bills.com website and take their free billsIQ “check-up” to see if your finances are as healthy, or unhealthy, as you think they are. When I took the billsIQ check-up, I was pleasantly surprised with my score (91% - A!). However, I did still learn that I could save money by lowering my payments.
At bills.com, you simply answer a series of questions, anonymously of course, about your current credit and debt situation – such as whether or not you’re paying bills on time, questions about your budget, your current wealth, and your life plan – how you’re planning for the future.
After learning your billsIQ, you can then determine the best ways to raise your score – get expert tips to improve your financial stability, and how to best save money. You’ll receive personalized offers that help you save and and get Debt relief.
When it comes to finances, the best approach to improvement is to gather a full and accurate understanding of your current situation.
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Cheerleader Season
July 27th, 2008Cheerleader Season
My Favorite Season
Around the NFL, the guys are returning to training camp in preparation for the upcoming season. The new playbooks are being perfected and guys are competing for starting positions.
This is my favorite time of the year, as I wait in great anticipation for the start of a new and promising Cheerleader Season.
Um… I mean football season, of course.
But, I can’t wait to see all of those new faces on the team…
Boating Safety
July 26th, 2008Boating Safety
Stay Sober
Summer will be wrapping up for many of us soon – actually “too soon”. Before you know it, Labor Day will be upon us and we’ll be out raking leaves and looking for Christmas trees.
OK. Maybe I’m jumping the gun a little too quickly. We do still have the awesome month of August ahead of us.
While you’re out squeezing every last minute of enjoyment out of summer, keep in mind that Boating Operating Under the Influence is the number one cause of boat related deaths and injuries.
Go ahead, have fun, and drink responsibly while you’re out on the water. But leave the driving to someone that isn’t drinking, just as you would do in a car.
Stay safe.
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Cheerleaders And Google
July 26th, 2008Cheerleaders And Google
A Strange Combination
Google never ceases to amaze me. There is not doubt they provide an incredible tool that has become an essential part of our lives, but their search result logic sometimes baffles me.
Somehow, Blog About Nothing has become the #1 search result for “uga cheerleading 2008″.
Now… Please understand… I absolutely love cheerleaders. They are God’s finest gift to mankind. In fact, they even rank above mermaids.
And, as my favorite college team(s), I am also quite fond of UGA.
But, I currently only have one post about a UGA cheerleader.
How that qualifies my little blog for the top in the results is beyond me. Possible Google can read my mind and realizes that - while I only have one post about UGA cheerleaders, they are in fact on my mind for the better part of each day.
OK, Google, I’ll try to live up to the bar you’ve set.
In the meantime, Go Dawgs!
Easy Logos
July 25th, 2008Easy Logos
And Much More!
While not working at my “real” 50 hour per week job, or getting paged for that job in the middle of the night or weekends, or writing on this blog, I’m busy building two other independent businesses.
Busy?
Yes, that’s an understatement. But, I’m very aggressive when it comes to business. Work hard, build an empire, the retire young. Not a bad goal.
While building these businesses on limited time – unfortunately, there are still only 24 hours in each day – and limited budgets, I’ve learned how to streamline to the maximum of efficiency. Some of that is accomplished by using companies that provide invaluable services that are unmatched by their rivals. VistaPrint is just such a company.
In the past several months I’ve used VistaPrint for Logos, business cards, magnets, and marketing materials. They make it so easy to design your own logo, for example, that it just doesn’t make sense to hire someone to do it for you, or even spend the time doing it yourself with a graphic design program.
Honestly, I can’t even imagine how I would deal with all of this stuff without the great services provided by VistaPrint. I do know that I would have to spend much more time and money on it if I had to go elsewhere. Thankfully, it won’t come down to that.
Are you in need of high quality and very affordable printed materials for your business? Whether you’re running a babysitting business or a corporation, VistaPrint can provide everything you need, from logos and business cards to car magnets and brochures.
In fact, you can save even more money than you normally would with the following VistaPrint coupons:
Labels50 - 50% Off Address Labels
FreeInvite - 10 Free Invites
BizCard08 - 50% Off Business Cards
FreeBrochures08 - 25 Free Brochures
CarDoor25 - 25% off Car Door Magnets
Checks25 - 25% off Checks
PC50 - 50 Free Oversized Postcards
Stamps50 - 50% Off Small Rubber Stamps
TShirts25 - 25% Off T-shirts
