Sebral Thoughts
April 18th, 2008Sebral Thoughts
Maybe Even More
Blog About Nothing is actually part of a much larger portfolio of blogs and websites, called Sebral Network.
While conducting some SEO (search engine optimization) testing recently, I noticed a strange pattern of “sebral” in search results. At first I wasn’t making the connection - but some actual Google search hits were:
“sebral months”
“raped sebral times”
“sebral of us”
…and there were countless others.
It wasn’t until I actually let my mind go - in other words, I stopped thinking - that it occurred to me that people are interchanging “sebral” with “several”.
Then, I was only able to put my head into my hands and wonder to myself just how much further the English language will be destroyed.
Dumbass of the Year
April 16th, 2008Dumbass of the Year
2008 (…and so early in the year)
I’m sure everyone was excited to learn that all of the Lakeland Idiots – April Cooper, Britney Mayes, Kayla Hassell, Brittini Hardcastle, Cara Murphy, Mercades Nichols, Zachary Ashley, and Stephen Schumaker – have posted bail and have now been released from jail.
That’s too bad…
And we can thank the Dumbass of the Year, Dr. Phil McGraw (yeah, that Dr. Phil), for posting bail for Mercades Nichols.
It’s amazing what this clown will do for ratings. I thought he had hit rock bottom after stalking Britney Spears in the hospital, but I was wrong. I’m not sure if posting bail for little punk Mercades is worse than what he did to Britney, but it’s certainly on par.
Hopefully we’ll see a big drop in ratings for dumbass Dr. Phil. Judging from public opinion surrounding his latest stunt, I think he’s about 14 minutes into his 15 minutes of fame.
Related:
Polk County lockup
Punks
Another Win For Victoria
Justice For Victoria Lindsay
Absolut Stupidity
April 4th, 2008Absolut Stupidity
Ketel One For The Win
So, here’s the latest ad from Swedish vodka maker, Absolut…
Well, Absolut, I now present you with America’s response: Fuck you.
Your vodka is crap to begin with, and now your glossy marketing isn’t even going to be able to carry your sales. Focusing your marketing campaign on Mexico, while pissing off American drinkers is not your most brilliant move. Shall we compare the per capita income of Mexico to that of the United States?
It’s Not The Heat
April 2nd, 2008It’s Not The Heat
It’s The Stupidity
An article from Local6 in Orlando, Florida, reveals that a recent survey found that some Florida teens believe:
- Drinking a cap of bleach will prevent HIV.
- A shot of Mountain Dew will stop pregnancy.
- Smoking marijuana will prevent a person from getting pregnant.
You know, some news just needs no further commentary from me…
Warning: A Gun Is Not A Drill
March 26th, 2008Warning: A Gun Is Not A Drill
Shouldn’t That Go Without Saying?
So, apparently, it’s not a great idea to use a handgun to drill a hole through the wall in your house.
As least that’s what Deepwater, MO resident Ronald Long learned this week – but only after killing his wife in the process.
As reported by Kansas City’s KCTV5, Mr Long decided that firing a couple of rounds from his .22-caliber handgun through the wall while installing a satellite TV system would be a suitable replacement for actually using a drill.
According to the report, the second shot hit his wife and fatally wounded her.
Normally I would chalk such stupidity up to Darwinism, and write it off as appropriate thinning of the gene pool for the overall improvement of mankind. But, sadly, in this case the death was that of an innocent bystander, and a mother, and not that of the dumbass with the ingenious idea.
The Rapist
March 23rd, 2008The Rapist
Why I’m Not A Live News Reporter
What do normal people see in this headline, quoted from CNN.com?
“Therapist Slashed To Death; Patient Sought”
I read it once, during my initial scan of the news headlines.
I read it a second time, during my review of the news, where I go back and read more details about the news items which might further interest me.
And, then, I read it a third time while reading the full article.
Here’s how my mind interpreted it each time:
“The Rapist Slashed To Death; Patient Sought”
Obviously, this brought upon quite a different meaning than what the author had in mind.
So, each time I read it, I thought “Cool, The Rapist was slashed to death. Must have been some other guy in prison that killed him. I wonder who “The Rapist” is. Must be some serial rapist or something…”.
When it finally occurred to me that the article was describing the death of a therapist, and not a rapist, I didn’t feel so good about his untimely demise.
I blame this on the Internet… Too many sites like GoDaddy, MySpace, BlogAboutNothing, and the likes bring very different meanings to TheRapist and Therapist.
Well, maybe not in some cases…
Time For The Hail Mary
November 8th, 2007Atlanta is running out of water. The entire southeastern United States is being crippled by a multi-year drought of epic proportions.
Metro Atlanta’s main water supply is the combination of Lake Lanier and Allatoona Lake, both of which were created by, and managed by, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers - you know, the same geniuses responsible for keeping the water out of New Orleans. Just look at the fantastic job they did there.
There has been much controversy regarding the Corps of Engineers management of these lakes, especially Lake Lanier. The Corps are responsible for controlling the daily release of millions of gallons of water from Lanier to provide for endangered mussels and smaller communities downstream. These releases continue despite the lakes being at historic record lows.
Current estimates for how much water is left for Atlanta, should the drought persist, range from a minimum of about 100 days to a maximum of about 210 days, depending upon who is supplying that data.
The point of this post, however, is not to spread the news of the drought, nor the lawsuits and emergency congressional requests focusing on the Atlanta water supply. There are many other sources of information covering this topic in far greater detail than I care to- and remember, Google is your friend.
Rather, the point of this post is to focus on the absurdity of the situation and the ineptness of Georgia “leaders”. I assure you, I use that term very loosely.
After many decades of uncontrolled growth, complete and utter lack of any planned zoning, mismanagement of natural resources, and untethered corruption at every level of government from county to state, these incompetent officials have not only brought Atlanta to this present emergency, but also to the brink of disaster. And now it’s all coming back to bite their collective asses. Good.
Now that we’re in this mess, what plan of action will our fearless “leaders” take?
It’s a bit late to consider something like a desalination plant in Savannah and a 200 mile pipe leading to Lake Lanier - at least in the short term. That would take close to 10 years, and even our dumbass politicians here in Georgia have a pretty good idea that 150 days is somewhat less than 10 years.
It’s too late to restrict the growth, since it has already exceeded the capacity of our natural resources. Although, one county of the 13 or so in metro Atlanta has actually stated that they will not issue any new building permits until the water crises is over. I guess the other 12 counties don’t consider having no water a “problem”.
I’m afraid that in this dire emergency we need to turn to the Governor of our fine state. A man who I actually did vote for because, sadly, he was the best candidate available.
And what is Governor Sonny Purdue’s plan of action?
Well, um, he’s going to pray.
Wait, wait, wait… He’s not going to pray to the Magical Invisible Man in the sky all by himself. No, he’s organizing a prayer service next week and everyone will be invited. This prayer meeting of Georgia’s elite will run about $2,000,000 for security. Money well spent though since it will relieve out drought.
According to Heather Teilhet, the Governor’s spokeswoman, he began talking about wanting to host a service to pray for rain on his way back from Washington D.C. last week. He was in D.C. meeting with federal officials and the governors of Alabama and Florida to discuss the region’s water crisis.
“Georgia needs rain. The issue at the heart of our drought problems is a lack of rain,” Teilhet said. “And there is nothing the government can do to make that happen.”
Teilnet continues, “The governor recognizes that the request has got to be made to a higher power.”
Ummmmm…
OK.
But, for a moment, I ask the Christian community praying for rain to reflect upon what happened the last time your God used water to resolve an earthly problem.
Unless you have an ark in your backyard, you might want to reconsider this request.
Atlanta is an awesome city, and I can’t think of many places in the United States I’d rather live than Georgia. I just can’t help but wonder how much better it would be here if not for the ignorance of the elected officials.
Ron Mexico, Ookie, Dumbass
July 17th, 2007
Michael Vick is a douche-bag.
As a resident of the Atlanta area, and a very avid and devoted Falcons fan, I implore Arthur Blank to discard this dumbass thug immediately. If he is still wearing a Falcons jersey when the season starts, I will be done with the Falcons, forever.
Vick so desperately wants to live the gangsta life… Let him. He has no place in the Falcons organization, or Atlanta, or Georgia. Send the punk back to Virginia with his pot water bottle and his herpes, or better yet, to Iraq. If he doesn’t put up a good fight, the Marines can treat him just as he treated the dogs at Bad Newz Kennels. Shall it be drowning, electrocution, or a bullet in the head Mikey?
That’s all I have to say about this pig.
Yeah, same to you buddy…
