RIP George
June 23rd, 2008RIP George
You’ll Be Missed.
“If God had intended us not to masturbate he would’ve made our arms shorter.”
“The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
“I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don’t have as many people who believe it.”
“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.”
As a final farewell to Mr. Carlin, I would just like to say…
- Shit
- Piss
- Fuck
- Cunt
- Cocksucker
- Motherfucker
- Tits
Oh, and PS…
- Fart
- Turd
- Twat
Cover Up
June 7th, 2008Cover Up
It’s All The Same
I’m not too proud to admit that I’m a bit of a beer snob. There are a few domestic brews that are OK - but, for the most part, imports blow them away. Sam Adams and Shiner Bock are a couple of fine American beers, and quite a few of the microbreweries make brews worth drinking.
It’s generally an accepted rule of thumb that anything from Anheuser-Busch is crap. Although, they do have some great commercials. Just stay away from their beer.
Near the bottom of the AB brand - if not THE bottom - is Bud Light. You know, as if regular “full-bodied” Budweiser isn’t bad enough, they reduce the calories, along with the “flavor”, and what do they end up with? Right, donkey piss.
But, like I said, they do have a great marketing machine down there at Anheuser-Busch corporate. And the constant barrage of ads for the new Bud Light Lime finally intrigued me enough to give it a try. After all, the crisp, refreshing, taste of lime in the summer is highly refreshing. And with the addition of the lime, this “premium light beer” certainly wouldn’t taste like donkey piss anymore.
And, it doesn’t. Now it tastes like donkey piss, with lime.
Back to being a beer snob for me.
Let’s Make A Deal
May 27th, 2008Let’s Make A Deal
Smart
I’ve got one of these… (different color)
…awesome vehicle, 4WD, leather, power everything, heated seats, power moonroof, towing package, Honda quality and reliability.
I want one of these…
…has none of the above, but I wont need a second mortgage to fill up the gas tank.
Anyone want to trade?
Coming Soon
May 27th, 2008Coming Soon
Still Not Enough Hours
If you’ve been reading Blog About Nothing for a while, you’ve already seen my posts mentioning that I have a growing portfolio of blogs and websites. Recently, I’ve purchased a few more.
There are a couple of brand new sites which I will make available to the public very soon. These specific sites focus more on niche topics, as opposed to the general topics you read about here.
That’s about all I’m going to divulge for the moment, but there will be more information available very soon - and I’ll post the applicable information here.
The 80s
May 25th, 2008The 80s
Back To The Future
An interesting question was posed to me last week - if you could go back to any decade, which one would it be?
This might cause some people to ponder the choices a bit before answering. Not me though. I think the person asking the question was caught off-guard when I answered in .1 milliseconds. The answer was simple…
The Eighties.
I was in high school in the 80s. And while college was good, there just has never been any time in my life - so far - to compare with the great times back in high school.
Words can’t even begin to describe how wonderful it would be to once again be crusing around in my 1980 Mustang, filled with that 95 cent per gallon gasonline, listening to an awesome “mix tape”, personally mastered by myself after many hours of planning the compilation.
OK… I’ll admit that maybe I could do without the hairstyle again. We can leave that part of the Eighties in it’s grave. But everything else, from Alf and Top Gun, to Reagan and rainbows - bring it on.
If you are too young to have enjoyed the 80s as a teenager, my sympathies go out to you. There will probably never be another decade like that one.
Pigs
May 20th, 2008Pigs
They’re Not Just For Dinner Anymore
I think I’ve found a good replacement for my jackass dog – you know, if she ever really pissed me off enough.
I want a miniature pig.
These little guys are really cool. They are about a fifth of the size of ordinary pigs and can live either inside or outside the house.
Apparently, they are smarter than most dogs. No doubt they are smarter than mine. They are reportedly very easy to house train and most always have a good temperament. This is definitely a good possibility.
And, you know it has to be said, there’s also the bacon factor.
Ice Cream Logic
May 17th, 2008Ice Cream Logic
Maybe It’s The Bells
Why does ice cream taste better when it’s delivered from the back of a van driving through the neighborhood?
Why do my kids run out the front door as soon as they hear the ice cream truck ringing it’s bell in the distance? This is despite, mind you, the fact that we have a freezer half-full of ice cream from a recent irresistable sale at a local grocery store.
This has to be related to that whole Pavlog’s dog thing…
Stop Hugging Trees
May 17th, 2008Stop Hugging Trees
And The Moose
I don’t want to go off on a rant here, but are you feeling the pinch at the pump yet? Gasoline is a very affordable $3.75 here today. That, by the way, translates into $15 just for my lawn mower gas.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had about enough of the hemorrhaging of American dollars to the middle east.
Clearly we need to put research and development for alternative fuel sources on the fast track here in the United States.
Auto factories should be pumping out hybrid vehicles faster than Michelle “It’s a vagina, not a clown car” Duggar can spawn new babies. Maybe the geniuses in Washington should subsidize hybrids rather than put forth half-baked “tax rebate” schemes which only pump more money back to Saudi Arabia.
And, for Christ’s sakes we don’t want to further perpetuate the problem by building any more fossil fuel power plants. We need more hydro, more solar, more wind, and obviously more nuclear. Build them now.
Begin building several new oil refineries in strategic locations throughout the country. And, by “strategic” I mean “not in the fucking hurricane alley or on top of a major fault line”, like the current location of some of our refineries. Again, fast track these… You know those thousands of Mexicans crossing the border illegally every day? Round them up and ship them to the refinery construction sites. When the job is complete, give them citizenship - they will have done more for the country than most of our politicians have for the past two decades.
For the short term, drill.
Drill ANWR. Drill off the coast of California, Massachusetts, and Florida. I don’t care if it causes sterile polar bears or dolphins. They’ll survive. Drill the massive oil reserves in North Dakota.
ANWR alone has ample petroleum reserves to supply more than 5% of our oil for at least the next 12 years.
If there is even the slightest chance that any parcel of land might be sitting atop oil, drill it. I don’t care if it’s my back yard or the front lawn of the White House.
Or, you can sit back and wait for oil to hit $200 per barrel and gasoline to hit $5 per gallon, and bitch about how much it costs. At least you know the polar bears will be able to continue their active sex lives up in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.
Of course that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong…
Money For Nothing
May 17th, 2008Money For Nothing
Not…
Well, crap. The Mega Millions lottery didn’t end up quite as I had hoped. That $196,000,000 went to someone else.
Good thing I didn’t quit my job before the drawing…
This, of course, means that the rest of you will need to continue working as well. While I did plan to distribute the winnings amongst my readers, that just can’t happen now.
But hey, it was the thought that counts, right?
Cheap Beer
May 16th, 2008Cheap Beer
Not Worth It
So, like everyone else I’m feeling the impact of rising fuel and food prices. While there are tons of people far worse off than I am, tougher economic times force most of us to re-evaluate our spending. And, honestly, I kind of enjoy it. Why spend $10 on something when you can get it for $6, even if you have the money?
I read yesterday that the cheap beers - basically the crappy American piss beers - have increased in sales, while the sales of premium domestics and imports are declining. All because consumers are spending the money on crazy things, like gasoline and bread.
But, hey, I’m all for saving a few bucks. I used to drink PBR back in college. Why not today?
In my mind, the… um… “best” cheap beers are Pabst Blue Ribbon and Miller High Life (Hey, it’s the champagne of beers). Either one of these seemed like a logical choice for the weekend.
Now, I don’t normally look at the prices on beer. I’m a bit of a beer snob and just buy whichever one I’m in the mood for. Usually imported, or American microbrew. The best “mass produced” American beer is Sam Adams Boston Lager.
Much to my surprise, when I stopped at the local beer store I found that Miller High Life was $7.99 per 12-pack. Sam Adams was $10.99 per 12-pack.
Well, there goes that savings… If I can’t afford the extra $3 - or 25 cents more per bottle - for a decent beer of a piss beer, then it’s time to stop drinking.
Speaking of which, my Sam Adams bottle is empty. Time to wrap up this post…
