Swedish Girls
May 30th, 2008Swedish Girls
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
I’m really beginning to believe that Sweden is the most underrated country in the world. Sure, we think about them every once in a awhile, and they do make really great candy fish, but there’s so much more to this fine little country.
For example, this random article from The Local:
Swedish Teen Girls Have More Sex With One Another
Published: 30 May 08 06:44 CET
Online: http://www.thelocal.se/12120/More teenage girls than boys have had sex with someone of the same gender, according to a new dissertation from the Sahlgrenska Academy in Gothenburg.
The result comes as no surprise to the researcher, midwife Gun Rembeck, who works at the primary care clinic in southern Älvsborg.
“I work at the youth health centre and asked the staff there what they thought before I told them about the results. They answered right away that there are more girls,” she said.
Altogether 440 girls and boys aged 17 were questioned for the study.
“It was 6.1 percent of the girls who answered that they had had sex with someone of the same gender, while 1.7 percent of boys said the same thing,” Rembeck explained.
No one is quite sure why the answers are so different between the sexes.
“It may be that girls feel their way forward without identifying themselves as either homo- or heterosexual,” said Rembeck.
She thinks that girls are also more inclined to experiment than boys.
“There is less of a taboo for girls. During their teenage years girls are often a bit more intimate with each other in their own way. Boys are often more worried, afraid to diverge, and the expressed norm is to not be homosexual,” Rembeck said.
The study also found that somewhat more girls than boys had also made their sexual debuts.
“It’s possible that girls who know they are oriented toward homosexuality have become sexually active earlier than boys,” she added.
Every once in a while you read something that prompts you to re-evaluate your life, your job, your home, and your choice of country.
My first thoughts are - I need to check on Swedish real estate. Certainly I could find a job over there pretty easily. Maybe at a high school or something…
Now, don’t get me wrong - America is a great country. I’m very proud of the United States, if not necesarilly proud of our politics or politicians. But, this is indeed the land of opportunity and for the most part, Americans really are only limited by their imaginations. Every American citizen has the opportunity and equality to persue their dreams.
What America is missing, however, are Swedish teen girls having sex with one another.
Oh, sure, we may have “teen girls having sex with one another” here on our continent. But, we don’t have Swedish teen girls having sex with one another here.
Or, at least, not nearly enough of them.
Possibly instead of wasting time, money, and lives in Iraq, we should invade Sweden. I can’t imagine they would put up much of a fight. I suppose some of the Swedish women would challenge us to a Jello wrestling match, but I’m sure there would be no shortage of American citizens signing up to join our all-volunteer military, ready to wrestle for freedom.
Heck, I’ll be the first in line to help liberate the Swedish girls.
In fact, maybe I’ll create the Blog About Nothing Army (BANA?) and begin organizing for the inevitable invasion immediately.
Any volunteers want to sign up?
And remember, it’s not just about hot, horny, Swedish girls… There’s also the unlimited supply of little, red, chewy, candy fish.
A few more reminders of the poor souls that we need to liberate:
Yeah, the sign-up sheet is in the comments section…
No Means Yes
May 28th, 2008No Means Yes
Or Something Like That
From The Local in Sweden:
Woman held for raping man in Stockholm
Published: 27 May 08 18:03 CET
Online: http://www.thelocal.se/12046/A 41-year-old woman in being held by police in Stockholm on suspicions of raping a 30-year-old man who went home with her after the two met at an area pub on Monday night.
According to police, the two were hungry and under the influence of alcohol as they made their way home from the bar.
“She invited him up for a little midnight snack,” Towe Hägg of the Stockholm police told The Local.
Once getting the man up to her place, the woman began to make sexual advances toward the man, which he resisted.
“We don’t know if it was a ‘no’ or if it was more than a ‘no’,” said Hägg.
After the man refused to have sex with the woman, she then performed oral sex on him against his will, according to the Aftonbladet newspaper.
The man called police the next morning to report that he was raped.
The woman remains in police custody while prosecutors determine whether or not to file formal charges.
I know, I know… This happens all the time. There’s no way I can even begin to count the number of times throughout my life where I’ve had to say to a woman:
“Look, I’ve already told you that I do not want to have sex with you. Now, take my penis out of your mouth immediately. I do not consent to this!”
Insatiable Appetite For The Dead
October 1st, 2007This isn’t a Mommy Blog, so you might need your seat belts on this ride kids…
However, it’s not necessarily going where you think it is.
As we enter into October and approach one of my favorite holidays, Halloween, I have even more than my usual obsession with ghosts, witches, and Zombie Cheerleaders from Hell.
This, of course, drives my mind to the next logical topic, necrophilia.
Oh, come on - We’re talking about Zombie Cheerleaders from Hell here! These living dead girls are hot.
So then I start thinking more about Zombie Cheerleaders and that, yeah, I could imagine a certain scenario where I might be inclined to have sex with one because, well, my imagination has no sense of smell or, apparently, morals. Then my OCD kicks in and I start thinking about the legal aspects of necrophilia, which compels me to Google a series of searches that have no doubt just flagged my name and IP address on the FBI’s “Lets Keep A close Eye On This Freak” list.
But, yeah, my mind is a dark and scary place.
At the time of this writing, there is no federal legislation specifically barring sex with a corpse. Likewise, the vast majority of states do not have any laws specific to necrophilia. And, the states that do, define these laws and their punishments across a wide spectrum. For example: Wisconsin, Vermont, Virginia, Arizona, and Maryland are a few of the many states with no necrophilia laws.
In Alaska, its a Class A misdemeanor.
In Georgia, its a felony, punishable by up to 10 years in prison.
In Michigan, also a felony, punishable by life in prison.
So, lets say I’m in Michigan, and making love to my beautiful wife. We have made love almost every day for the past 20 years, always as two willing partners. But, on this day in Michigan, she has heart failure just minutes before the moment of orgasm, and dies in my arms. So, being the responsible husband that I am, I immediately dial 911 on the telephone next to the bed, or kitchen table, or wherever we happened to be, and proclaim my emergency. But, because my love for her has not died with her physical death, and she’s still warm and everything, I continue to make love to her while waiting for the ambulance to arrive.
In Michigan, I could be charged with a felony, and spending the rest of my life in prison.
Is this logical?
Obviously this is just a hypothetical scenario because I know there’s no way my wife would die without finding some way to take me with her. After all, if she leaves me here with the living I’d spend my days with the nymphomaniac redheaded cheerleaders and she simply wouldn’t tolerate that. So, when she goes, I’m expected to follow.
But reality, or the lack thereof, has never prevented me from questioning the logic of something.
There is a serious side to this topic however. I’m not in favor of legislation which serves no purpose other than to control the actions or lifestyles of others. If we are going to outlaw something simply because its repulsive to the majority, then why aren’t there laws banning obese people from all-you-can-eat buffets?
While I might find the idea of sex with a corpse to be disturbing, I find it far less disturbing than the seemingly arbitrary governing of this action from one state to the next. How can something be punishable by life in prison in one state, yet not even considered a crime ten feet across the border in the neighboring state?
In the specific case of necrophilia, who is the victim? The same shell of a body that’s soon to be incinerated in the crematory? I don’t know about you, but given the choice between sex and incineration, I’m choosing the sex every time.
I’m using absurdity to emphasis a point…
You can not legislate morality.
If you don’t see how dangerous this is, whether that legislation is about something you feel strongly about or not, then you need to take a deeper look at yourself, as well as the bigger picture.
AssMan
August 4th, 2007Well, great news everyone!
It’s August - and I think we all know what that means!
That’s right, the hottest month of the year, Anal Sex Month!
Promotional ad from 1951
Promotional ad from 1944
Apparently, this celebratory month focusing on the glorious euphoria of anal intimacy has been around for many decades. For some reason I thought our generation had practically invented this beautiful expression of sexuality. But, from the Bung Balm ads I happened upon it appears that adventurous couples have been enjoying the back-door action for years and years. In fact, if my research is correct, our parents weren’t afraid of this taboo and heck, even Grandpa was slammin’ Granny in the fanny.
Oh… Hmph…
I’m sorry. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Well, let’s just try to get that image out of our minds, and focus on our own beautiful partners. Remind them, it’s Anal Sex Month, and it’s time to celebrate!
I wonder if there will be a parade?
Promotional ad from 1937
