Update From The Zoo
October 11th, 2008Update From The Zoo
We Still Love Tori
Thanks to Christina for reminding me about the Florida animals - known around the world for the beating of our favorite high school cheerleader. These scumbags have also been referred to here on Blog About Nothing as the Florida “Punks”, “Dumbasses”, “Pigs” and a few other choice names that you’ll just have to read again to learn my true feelings about these, um, precious little snowflakes.
Trust me, I’ve actually held back much of what I was thinking.
Anyhow…
The news is - no real news, yet.
The criminal cases against Brittini Hardcastle (18), Mercades Nichols (17), Kayla Hassall (15), April Cooper (15), and Brittany Mayes (17), continue to move forward, slowly, as they face charges of battery and kidnapping related to the beating. Nichols, Mayes and Hardcastle also face a charge of tampering with a witness.
All five are out on bail.
No trial dates have been set, however pretrial hearings are slated for November 18, 2008.
In a shock a revolation to absolutely nobody whatsoever, Brittini Hardcastle’s lawyer has requested that her client’s curfew be extended so… no, wait… (…drum roll…) she can attend church two nights a week.
Church?
If anyone chooses to believe in an invisible wizard who lives in the sky, I fully support that - no matter which version of that wizard they choose to believe in. But, don’t you think that He gets very perturbed that most of His followers come to Him while awaiting sentencing for some heinous crime that may lead to life in prison?
I mean, you never find non-believers out there picking flowers in a meadow on a sunny day, watching the butterflies flutter amongst the delicate petals, and all of a sudden announce that they now believe in God and will be committing to a life of goodness.
Nope. Instead, the shining light - apparently - only comes to you after you’ve completely fucked up your life.
I don’t know, if I were God, this would just really piss me off. Hmmm… Maybe that’s why He created Ebola.
Well, I hate to break the news to you Brittini, but I have pretty direct contact with God and He’s told me that he’s not interested in your soul.
Sorry, Brittini, this is your new god:
See also…
Tags: brittini, Cheerleaders, tori
