Polygamy
April 22nd, 2008Polygamy
Do It Right, Or Don’t Do It
I’ve long held the belief that the polygamist lifestyle would be an ideal one for me. Women are such incredible creatures, who wouldn’t want to surround themselves with a collection… um… Herd? Flock? Gaggle? Whatever… A bunch of them?
Now, I see no need to be greedy. I can’t imagine needing more than 10 or so women as my constant companions. (Disclaimer: Of course, it would go without saying that my incredibly beautiful, intelligent, and sensual wife would always be my Number One female companion and soulmate).
If I had 10 women in my herd, there would always be three of them working, three of them sleeping, three of them available for… well… recreation (or procreation?). The remaining one would be permitted to mow the lawn or wash my car, depending upon the needs at the time.
And honestly, what woman wouldn’t love to be a part of this lifestyle? I’m sure if polygamy were legal, there would be dozens – maybe hundreds – lining up to join my herd of women.
But, there’s one problem that continually throws a wrench into my master plan. Every time a polygamist faction is revealed in the news media, the herd of women all look exactly like this:
This is quite unsettling for me. I’m not sure if there are some unwritten bylaws or ancient regulations regarding the standard uniform for women in your herd, or their cosmetic attributes, but in my polygamist vision, all of my wives look like this:
Why would anyone want a flock of prairie-dress wearing, no-makeup, unshaven (ewww…) women when they could have beautiful, young, girls with chicken wings in one hand and a pitcher of beer in the other?
You know, I think these religions are going about this all wrong if they’re aiming for acceptance by the general public.
Tags: hooters, polygamy, women
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