Insatiable Appetite For The Dead
October 1st, 2007This isn’t a Mommy Blog, so you might need your seat belts on this ride kids…
However, it’s not necessarily going where you think it is.
As we enter into October and approach one of my favorite holidays, Halloween, I have even more than my usual obsession with ghosts, witches, and Zombie Cheerleaders from Hell.
This, of course, drives my mind to the next logical topic, necrophilia.
Oh, come on - We’re talking about Zombie Cheerleaders from Hell here! These living dead girls are hot.
So then I start thinking more about Zombie Cheerleaders and that, yeah, I could imagine a certain scenario where I might be inclined to have sex with one because, well, my imagination has no sense of smell or, apparently, morals. Then my OCD kicks in and I start thinking about the legal aspects of necrophilia, which compels me to Google a series of searches that have no doubt just flagged my name and IP address on the FBI’s “Lets Keep A close Eye On This Freak” list.
But, yeah, my mind is a dark and scary place.
At the time of this writing, there is no federal legislation specifically barring sex with a corpse. Likewise, the vast majority of states do not have any laws specific to necrophilia. And, the states that do, define these laws and their punishments across a wide spectrum. For example: Wisconsin, Vermont, Virginia, Arizona, and Maryland are a few of the many states with no necrophilia laws.
In Alaska, its a Class A misdemeanor.
In Georgia, its a felony, punishable by up to 10 years in prison.
In Michigan, also a felony, punishable by life in prison.
So, lets say I’m in Michigan, and making love to my beautiful wife. We have made love almost every day for the past 20 years, always as two willing partners. But, on this day in Michigan, she has heart failure just minutes before the moment of orgasm, and dies in my arms. So, being the responsible husband that I am, I immediately dial 911 on the telephone next to the bed, or kitchen table, or wherever we happened to be, and proclaim my emergency. But, because my love for her has not died with her physical death, and she’s still warm and everything, I continue to make love to her while waiting for the ambulance to arrive.
In Michigan, I could be charged with a felony, and spending the rest of my life in prison.
Is this logical?
Obviously this is just a hypothetical scenario because I know there’s no way my wife would die without finding some way to take me with her. After all, if she leaves me here with the living I’d spend my days with the nymphomaniac redheaded cheerleaders and she simply wouldn’t tolerate that. So, when she goes, I’m expected to follow.
But reality, or the lack thereof, has never prevented me from questioning the logic of something.
There is a serious side to this topic however. I’m not in favor of legislation which serves no purpose other than to control the actions or lifestyles of others. If we are going to outlaw something simply because its repulsive to the majority, then why aren’t there laws banning obese people from all-you-can-eat buffets?
While I might find the idea of sex with a corpse to be disturbing, I find it far less disturbing than the seemingly arbitrary governing of this action from one state to the next. How can something be punishable by life in prison in one state, yet not even considered a crime ten feet across the border in the neighboring state?
In the specific case of necrophilia, who is the victim? The same shell of a body that’s soon to be incinerated in the crematory? I don’t know about you, but given the choice between sex and incineration, I’m choosing the sex every time.
I’m using absurdity to emphasis a point…
You can not legislate morality.
If you don’t see how dangerous this is, whether that legislation is about something you feel strongly about or not, then you need to take a deeper look at yourself, as well as the bigger picture.
October 1st, 2007 at 4:14 pm
wow…that was some seriously good shit. I have to admit when I first started to read it I thought.. eeeewww there’s no way I gonna like this, sleeping with dead people is absolutely disgusting! But my curiosity always gets the better of me and I love to know and understand were people are coming from. Very good writing
Things that make you think. ttyl… malia
October 1st, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Thanks Malia. Sometimes, actually most of the time, I go to the extreme to make my point. It’s either going to force people away, or encourage them to read on. And, if it forces them away, then maybe they weren’t my intended audience to begin with.
That and the fact that I’m always looking for a reason to include “Zombie Cheerleaders from Hell” in as many posts as possible.
October 19th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
“But, on this day in Michigan, she has heart failure just minutes before the moment of orgasm, and dies in my arms. … But, because my love for her has not died with her physical death, and she’s still warm and everything, I continue to make love to her while waiting for the ambulance to arrive.
“In Michigan, I could be charged with a felony, and spending the rest of my life in prison.
“Is this logical?”
Umm, YES. A corpse cannot give consent. This is not your wife, this is the body she inhabited. Good God, man, was this post satire and I missed that entirely?
October 19th, 2007 at 2:04 pm
Art - 75% Satire / 25% Other. The point is not really the necrophilia, its the attempt to legislate morality.
But, just for the sake of argument, what if my wife has signed an affidavit providing this consent? If you can donate your body to science - to be dissected by medical students - can you donate your body to a necrophiliac?
OK, I’m even beginning to creep myself out, but some questions just beg to be answered. (You know, before they lock me up in the institution).